Cut the Malarkey

2012-02-01T15:18:00.000-08:00

Today in TA (think homeroom), I went over cyber bullying, verbal bullying, and physical bullying with my cute little 7th graders. We made anti-bullying posters, and this one takes the cake. I love the winking wolf.

2012-01-24T18:06:00.001-08:00

Me: "Looks like you copied."

Student: "I'm pretty sure I didn't?" Really said with a question mark.

Me: "Pretty sure?"

Student: “I wrote my schedule on my hand, but my sister’s hamster tried to bite science off this morning.”

I'm about to read Tina Fey's Bossypants, and I've already laughed and sent a funny text before opening the book. Can't wait.

2012-01-06T20:46:00.000-08:00

Nothing like having a good cry while taking a bubble bath.

1) Zach and Em went to Disneyland and let us keep Toby for the whole week. I have been so excited to leave work and head straight to my parents' to play with my Toby mister. The crying started when I thought about how Toby has to go home tomorrow.

2) Best. Parents. Ever. I would have cried about this earlier, but I was busy riding the train at the mall with Toby. (Shout out to the exfoliating kiosk guy for trying to hit on me while I was briskly walking past with Toby on my hip: Thanks, you made me smile.)

3) Sometimes I cannot make my brain stop rehashing every detail about my school day. While boohooing (in a good way) in the tub, I remembered:

Me: "Guys, you are pros at this, absolute pros. Keep it up!"

7th grade boy in all seriousness: "Why wouldn't we be? You're our teacher."

4) I have a really really tough girl this year. She has aspergers and is incredibly stubborn. One of my adorable little 7th grade girls came and told me today that yesterday after school, she invited this girl to the library so that they could study together for today's test. I have never come so close to hugging and lifting a student off the ground for being so amazing.

2011-12-27T16:38:00.000-08:00

Cure my boredom please!

My dad's asleep, Em's sick and asleep, my mom just got back from having a root canal and is in the the tub, I let the neighbor's cat Big in to liven up this joint, it didn't work.

My dad woke up, "Wait, you let Big in?!"

Me while following Big and giggling, "He wanted to come in, look how happy he is!"

Dad sitting up, "Well, put him outside."

Me pouting, "But look how good he's being."

Dad switching channels on the tv, "Yeah right."

Me while picking up a purring Big, "Sorry, show's over mister."

Great, now my parents are going to Stake Sports Night and Em's in the tub. Guess I'll get back to updating my resume and writing my statement of purpose. U of U grad program ... hoorah!

A couple of great breaks between all of this familial excitement: Playing "Where's My Water?" and reading "The Scorch Trials". Aren't you jealous of my life?

2011-12-04T19:49:00.000-08:00

The First Beanie of the Season

Too bad I'm too lazy to get a better picture of the amazing flower. I am proud of myself. I've got to practice because I might have promised a guy I'd try to make him one of these:

2011-11-27T09:45:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving 2011

Idaho Falls, ID

Our amazing view from the 8th floor of the Red Lion Hotel.

Things to remember:

Eating in the breakroom of The Madsens
Little kids playing on the intercom
Uncle Dale telling me how proud he is of me
My dad asking question after question about Topaz Mountain and if my arm was sore, or my eyes were blood shot, or if I slept well, or if I've looked at my rocks yet...
Having to hold myself back from grabbing Buffy's boys and hugging and kissing them. I missed our boys.
Watching Vy and Jordan play/fight. "Hi Vy!" cute little Jordan.
Forgetting that Jay was still dancing in the basement using the kinect until he wandered upstairs an hour later. "Why are you so sweaty?"
Fiesta Ole - My first and possibly last trip
Dad to Jay, "Where'd you get that hat?" Jay pointing to his huge beanie, "Oh, you mean this?"
Dad, "Now remember, you can eat for free at the bayfay tomorrow... Buffet," and Em and I going nuts teasing him until he got really loud, hit the steering wheel, and said, "Enough!" Hilarious.
Em dramatically trying to wheel her luggage out on the wrong floor.
Sharing a room with Em and making her laugh so hard at herself that she choked on toothpaste
Grandma's not-on-purpose bend and snap that made me laugh so hard I both cried and drooled
Before leaving, Grandma telling me she was looking at me during Thanksgiving dinner, and how she kept thinking to herself how absolutely beautiful I looked. I really needed that compliment.

2011-11-23T20:16:00.000-08:00

Topaz Mountain

(Brent Bateman's Favorite)

What should I do on my first day off for the holiday? Be ready to make the drive to Topaz Mountain at 4:45 A.M. but the sheer terror of my dad's wrath if I wasn't ready to go wakes me up at 4 A.M.

I felt like a little kid ready for school when I climbed into the suburban with my backpack and lunchbox. My dad, Dra, Uncle Scott, cousin Brandon, Uncle Norman, cousin Alex, and I all rode together while my Aunt Kay, cousin Blaine, and his wife Christy followed in their car. I tried to stay awake and listen to my uncle's great stories, but I can't stay awake for long in cars.

I woke up later to my dad saying, "We went too far!" I opened my eyes, wondering why were at a toll booth, and saw my dad talking to a guy in uniform with a huge shotgun. Masking my alarm with my sleepy voice, I whispered, "Where are we?" So confusing. Apparently, we'd made it to Dugway. We flipped around and quickly found the dirt road we had missed.

Our first stop.

I didn't really know what I was supposed to be doing. Dra and I started taking pictures and laughing a lot immediately. We were horsing around, using her screwdriver and hammer to chisel at the rock, and I asked if I could see it for a second. I blindly chose a spot, chipped away, and a huge piece of black rock fell out. Dra said we should show my dad, so we climbed back to where he was, and he was in awe. He called everyone over to show off the bixbyite (spelling is of course atrocious, I'd never heard of such a rock, and every time my dad said it, I thought of Clive Bixby). I was beaming until I looked over at Dra and she was scowling at me and my dumb luck. It was hilarious. My dad told us to show him where we found it, and we laughed that we couldn't because it was our secret spot. He didn't laugh. We showed him immediately.

So early in the morning, so cold and windy.

My dad was in heaven.

Our 2nd spot: The Geode ... Patch? Field? I can't remember.

It was kind of a bust. We did see a lot of sheep though. I don't like sheep, it's no secret. There were literally hundreds of them. They scattered when my cousins Brandon and Alex jumped from behind a hill and scared them, but then they would gain back their stupid sheep courage and start following us again. I stuck close to my dad, then we realized there was a muddy water hole they were trying to get to. They weren't going to mob us after all. We saw the sheep herder on his horse. He had four super cute dogs with him, but they were all business, no play.

Our third spot, the south end of Topaz Mountain.

Can you see the windy road at the bottom? We parked close to the road and climbed up to this spot. I think it was the only time I was truly warm all day. My dad kept muttering, "Shoot!" Apparently, when he had come before there were these "two rocks that were amazing," and he couldn't remember where they were. Again, I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. Instead of destroying rocks, I mostly watched all the people around us and talked to my non-stop-talker cousin Alex.

My partner in hilarity.

Overall, it was a great time. Would I go again? Probably, but only if it was warmer.

2011-11-18T18:31:00.001-08:00

A few things:

1) Best run ever Monday after school. Why? Well, at one point a guy was running towards me, then we waved and passed each other, then I watched as his shadow turned around once he was past me and checked out my butt. High fived myself. (In my mind of course.)

2) Embarrassed myself Monday night. How? For FHE we had a turkey dinner and auction to raise money for a family's Christmas. We've been hearing about this auction for about two months, and there has been a sheet passed around relief society every single week. Last week I was real tired of reading lame auction items. (They weren't lame, they were typical: 1 plate of cookies! or 2 loaves of my homemade pumpkin bread!) So I wrote down: One Drop it Like it's Hot Lesson by Amy Bateman. I passed the sheet to my roommate and watched carefully, excited to make her laugh in church. I got no reaction. Argh. So boring. She didn't even notice. I had great intentions of crossing my name off ... and I forgot to cross my name off. The joke came back to bite me in the drop it like it's hot butt. So Monday night, I'm sitting next to my friends and being ridiculous and laughing a lot and having fun during the auction. Then I see my roommate Natalie who was handing our Bishop (the emcee) the certificates for auctioned items look at me funny, then she handed him the certificate, then he looked at me funny. My insides dropped. I tried to get my Bishop to look at me and notice my miming motions of tearing the paper up, and the slitting my throat motions to get him to abort. It did no good. My face went bright red as the Bishop laughed into the mic, "I'm just going to read this one off! One drop it like it's hot lesson by Amy Bateman!" The entire room erupted in cheers and woots and laughter. I turned sideways and shake-laughed. I refused to demonstrate even though I felt extreme peer pressure from the chanting crowd. My other roommate Baylee was laughing so hard she was crying, and I was laughing so hard, my armpits were sweaty. My lesson went for $60. Guess I'll have to get my nephew Eli to give me lessons before I give lessons.

3) Today at school I asked one of my boys to stomp on our recycling. He stood in it and bounced, then tried to step out, but his foot was stuck in an empty kleenex box. I laughed way too hard.

4) I went disco skating with Eric, Andrea, and Kolten at Classic last Saturday. It was an absolute blast. Eric and Kolten have some major moves on rollerskates; I was so impressed and entertained. We met up with some of their friends who were also pros on skates. At one point while Dra and I were rollerblading around, one of their excellent skater friends jumped out of the rink on to the carpet and started doing sexy leg lifts with his rollerskates on. I will never stop laughing about it.

2011-11-11T08:17:00.000-08:00

Crazy Hair Day - Spirit Week

This picture doesn't do the height justice, there's a cup under my hair.
When I got in my car this morning, I bonked my hair and managed to honk the horn at the same time.
Have a great Friday.

2011-11-08T18:15:00.000-08:00

Tiny Tribute to My Dra

You're always happy to cheer on the mutton busters. Why do we struggle to take good pictures of the two of us? Remember when the lady lost her shoe?

You're always up for something fun, and it's always so much more when you're with me.

You're always with me during the hardest things I do in life. I couldn't ask for a kinder more thoughtful person to have on my side no matter what.

You make me laugh harder than I think is possible. I'm so proud of you in this picture.

2011-11-06T08:45:00.000-08:00

Latelys:

1) Four grants down, one left to write ...

2) Girls night out? I loathe them. I'm surrounded by girl idiots at all times. The other night, I convinced myself that I need to work on being nice to girls outside my usual circle, so I got it together and went to a girls-only get together. I was really struggling after we ate disgusting homemade english muffin pizzas, then I got pulled into a corner and asked how my love life was going, then I was forced to sit in front of a t.v. that was insultingly playing a soap opera. I was ready to kill everyone in the room just to climb over their dead bodies and get out. I begged them to watch something else, pointed out that we could be watching Extreme Animal Phobia, and convinced the room of screaming girls that it'd be way more entertaining than a soap opera. On the show, one lady was deathly afraid of spiders, and she was forced to complete a task where she carried a tarantula from one container to another. Again, the room of girls was screaming, I was laughing, then I hear one winner cry out, "Wait! Are those trained spiders?!" Forehead slap. See? Idiots.

3) Andrea turns 25 this week. I cried while running on the treadmill yesterday morning. Why? Shrug. Dra's going to be 25? It just got to me.

4) Toby calls everyone Amy, and I love love love it.

5) Our stake halloween party was a huge success. Being in charge of the food wasn't too bad. My buddy Kolten and I paraded around in our matching pink pegasus costumes, learned the sweet moves to Thriller, and repeatedly raced through the huge blowup obstacle course. We might have thought it was a great idea to race backwards, but I managed to slam right into a girl version of Monstro. Oops. I was fine, she was fine, so it was all just hilarious. I would have beat him though.

6) Went paintballing for the first time yesterday. Drive out there: 20 minutes. Gear: $26. Excuse to shoot a guy who has a girlfriend yet kept telling me how hot I looked all decked out: Priceless

2011-10-23T18:32:00.000-07:00

Brotherly Sisterly Hike

This was on our way down, but we stopped to take some pictures. Some guy sneered, "What, do you see an animal or something?" Uh, does there have to be an animal to take a picture?

My favorite part of the hike was teaming up with Zach and teasing Em about her irrational fear of skinwalkers.

Em: "Seriously, if I was on this hike by myself right now, my number one fear would be skinwalkers."

Me: "Not bears?"

Zach: "Who's the most famous skinwalker? Walker Texas Ranger."

2011-10-23T18:14:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time, we went to the circus.

In trying to take a picture of ourselves and jumping the gun before the flash was done flashing, we captured this. I love love love this picture.

One of our best attempts.

The only picture of the actual circus I took. I was too amazed by all the hullaballoo to worry about busting out my camera. My favorite was when a guy exploded out of a cannon, but he was on fire! "I did not expect that!" I kept shouting to Dra over the loud music. Truly is the greatest show on earth.

2011-10-08T21:52:00.000-07:00

What can I work on while I fake like I'm watching the Fast Five with my roommates? How about a video of some fun summer stuff? I gave myself away when I laughed, then they noticed I had headphones in. I'm not sorry.

Special thanks goes to:

* Cherry Hill

* Lake Powell

* Utah State Fair

2011-09-21T21:02:00.000-07:00

This little lady turned 21 today.

I would lasso the moon for her.

2011-08-31T21:34:00.000-07:00

Baby Abey Turns 3

How can you not adore this kid?

2011-08-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

Mona Rope Swing

Isn't this little froggy so cute?

We always have fun at the rope swing: fishy water gets up our nose, some stranger always belly flops, people always get rope burn because they lack the upper body strength to hold on so they just slide down the gross rope ... However, this trip had some unique instances.

Boys threw eggs at each other as they did tricks off of the rope swing. One boy got hit right in the tender bottom.
A girl who stood for a good 15 minutes trying to muster up the courage to jump out of a tree ended up slipping and falling and landing back first in the water.
A crazy dog ran around barking and growling at us. The dog's owner had shark teeth.
Found the above froggy, a little boy might have smushed it trying to play with it.
Tried out the mini rope swing, not so fun. Em tried to swing on it in a circle back to shore with no success.

2011-08-13T17:08:00.000-07:00

Lava Hot Springs - Ward Trip

I love this picture. What the crap am I doing? Hilarious. Jon is the boy on the far right, and he and I tumbled down one of the waterfalls. I surfaced laughing and unscathed, he had a big cut above his eye. Sorry buddy. Sure was fun though.

The waterfall we tumbled down.

What a great trip! Our 3 hour drive took us about 5 hours due to a two big rig accidents, but I didn't mind too much because I loved rolling down the window and thanking the construction workers and making them smile. I rolled down my window when we passed the firemen, but they were super hot and I got really intimidated so I just smiled and kept my mouth shut.

We rolled in at about 10 o'clock at night and were greeted by a spectacular bbq. I was really excited to go to the hotpots, so a big group of us headed on over. I swear I burned my bum in one of the super hot pools, but it was fun being ridiculous and pretend flirting with tattoo boys to make our group laugh. Turns out I don't really like the heat in hotpots, my heart was racing. I swear they're not good for you. We saw speedos, massage trains, old gross men, rule breaking bikinis, it was a blast.

We came back and played games. Anyone played Ligretto? Well, it's Whacky 6. No one had ever heard of Whacky 6 and I took a lot of guff for it. I also learned a new game called Lucky Duck. More like Lame Duck. My dad graciously let us borrow his mattress pads so we camped out in the Tolbert's garage. I slept like a lamb as usual.

Floating the river was a blast. I regret not going down in Taylor's three man raft. A lot of people had major cuts and scrapes from getting rocked on the waterfalls. Other than Jon, our group did great. Poor Jon. I had so much fun I slept almost the entire way home: Sure sign of an excellent trip.

2011-08-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

Dreams Come True

Yesterday was a glorious day. I got up and headed over to my school to continue decorating my classroom. I have really worked on matching colors and what not. I have never put so much effort into my room, but it feels nice. Feel free to come visit me, but I'll need to you to say you love everything.

Last night I had plans with my hilarious college friend Camille. Oh how I love my Camille. We decided to start with hitting up the batting cages. In college I would come home from a crappy day of waitressing, dump my saved quarters on the bed, turn to my Camille with, "Had a hard day, want to go hit some balls?" We had the best of times. Unfortunately, I'm not as good as I once was. Last night, I was swinging and missing every time, Camille told me to scoot back, it was the difference I needed. I ended up hitting one of the cute worker girls who ran to the middle to work on one of the machines. One in a million shot doc, one in a million shot.

We headed to dinner afterwards and chatted it up at Paradise Bakery where I reminded her of my obsession with purchasing a little kid bike. So Camille drove me over to WalMart and encouraged me to ride a few bikes around. I couldn't stop smiling. There's something about bikes that cheers me up immediately.

I did it, I bought a neon green and black boy trick bike. I asked Camille if she wanted to stand on the pegs at the back so I could give her a ride to the front of the store, she encouraged me to calm down a bit.

We drove to Camille's house and raised the seat and pulled off all of the stickers. We decided to bring our old bike gang back to life, (in college we used to ride over to James and Jackie's place), so Camille pulled her bike down from the ceiling in her garage, then we rode about 4 miles round trip to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple then back to her place. I probably embarrassed Camille as I waved to everyone as we passed by. We jumped curbs, bunny hopped, laughed, dodged glass, and I even did a trick for the line of cars as we crossed Bangerter.

Once back at Camille's, I confessed I was a little sweaty. I told her I might as well ride my bike home. She loaned me a backpack, and sent me on my way like a little kid on his way to school. Turns out, it's kind of far back to my place, but I just took 10600 South the entire way and it's basically downhill. I loved it. I promised Camille I wouldn't jump any curbs, and I'd play it safe. A little over 1/4 mile from my apartment I thought, "Holy crap! It is so hard to pedal... Oh no!" I jumped off, my new bike already had a flat tire! So I dug in my backpack, gulped a lot of water, pulled out my cell phone, and started walking my new bike home.

I called Camille and told her I made it home safely, then I called Emily to relay my amazing adventures. Then I got scared to haul my bike upstairs and confess to my classy roommates that I really did purchase a little boy's bike. Thankfully they just laughed.

2011-08-03T14:48:00.000-07:00

Granite Flats Continued - Cascade Springs

I think these two pictures of Eli are hilarious. He looks so bored; but we actually laughed a lot.

Eli and Toby

*Some day I'll type up funny stories from the trip.

2011-08-02T09:26:00.000-07:00

Emily Ferrell

Look at the treasure I just found on Emily's desk. I will laugh for weeks.

Em - You always know how to put the spring in Springfield.

2011-07-30T20:02:00.000-07:00

Granite Flats - 2011

Helped Dra waterproof her new tent.

I admitted later to my uncles that I felt like a giant nerd walking around her tent spraying it with a water bottle. They laughed really hard when I muttered how pointless spraying the tent down was because it poured about two hours later.

I needed a break from the stress that is involved in helping my dad set up our family tent. So I came to the river to fill up a water gun, almost stepped on a snake, yelled to Dra, she couldn't hear me over the river, then watched it slither into this bush. We never told Eric we saw a snake right by his tent.

My Uncle Scott takes us up Mt. Timp every summer. He'd heard from the rangers that we probably wouldn't be able to make it to the top because of all of the snow, so he decided to head up on Tuesday for a test run to see how far he could get and he invited me and my dad. So Tuesday morning, my Uncle Scott, my cousin Brandon, my dad, and I headed up the trail. I was so excited that my dad was coming with us on the hike.

My hiking buddies.

My Uncle Scott is in front of my dad.

My cousin Brandon and I chatted a good deal as we hiked, but at one point we were just minding our own business, keeping quiet, then all of a sudden my Uncle Scott was yell-whispering at us, "Get back here! How the heck did you miss that?" We walked right by a moose. I thought he was big, my Uncle said he was a baby. Shrug.

We had already crossed some snow ... then came this.

We made it across just fine.

I was super scared as we crossed, I slid a lot, but it wasn't until way after the hike when my dad and I were headed back to the valley to shower that he admitted how scared he was. It was pretty sketchy in parts but the debris helped a lot.

The great thing about all of the snow is the waterfalls. Amazing! We kept saying, "Hey! We've never seen that one before!"

We slid down this whole thing. There's actually a chute at the top on the right. We were sliding down, then my Uncle Scott crossed over halfway down the chute, sat on his butt and yeehawed the rest of the way down the chute. Brandon and I were above him, so we crossed over to the chute and laughed really hard as we slid down. It's not fun to have wet-jeans-butt, but it was worth it, and it was hot enough that I was pretty much dry by the end of the hike.

As we were hiking down, we took a different trail that led to Scout Falls. The trail was super steep and went through a tree's roots. My Uncle Scott said he didn't want to climb it, but the roots were huge and it looked fun to monkey up. I told him I wanted to check it out. I loved climbing through the sturdy roots. My Uncle Scott and Brandon were right behind me, and we all laughed at how beautiful the falls were. My Uncle Scott went underneath the waterfall and pretended to wash his armpits. Too bad I was super lazy at taking pictures.

That night my sisters came up to Granite Flats. Andrea and Eric were excited to hike Timp, but not happy when we told them that you could only get about halfway without crampons and ice axes. The next morning, we sat around debating which hike to hike or whether to hike at all. I really wanted to hike as opposed to sitting around camp and playing games. I talked them into going up Timp again, promising them beautiful waterfalls, and off we went. I loved it. I hardly took any pictures, but above is a gem. Andrea needed a potty break.

My cousin Jessica, Emily, and I all crossed the snowfield. It was so much easier than the day before. We started hiking about an hour and a half later than we had the day before, so the snow was super slushy by the time we got there. Andrea and Eric hiked back down to my Uncle Scott and waited for us. We crossed to the top of the chute, Jessica loaned us garbage bags, I offered to go first even though I was crazy scared, and off I went. I regret not telling Em to wait a bit before going, I wish I had her descent on video. She was screaming the entire way and it looked like she came out of the chute. The video's of my cousin Jessica.

2011-07-23T20:04:00.000-07:00

Toby Mister

My mom had the brilliant idea of letting Toby play with a paintbrush and water. He and I played with letters, but it was hard to paint and video at the same time.

My mom came out later and helped out. Isn't Toby the cutest?

2011-07-23T19:51:00.001-07:00

Bell Canyon Hike with Zach

(Go ahead, shake your head in boredom, I realize this is around the 3rd or 4th time I've posted about this very hike.)

The 2nd falls is amazing; there's so much water! As Zach and I compared the differences between last year's trip and this year's, I reminded him how last year we had been riddled by mosquitos. I looked down to adjust my jacket ... and squished a mosquito. The spray from the waterfall made us so so cold.

We found a bridge! We're not sure if it was there last year, but crossing it led to a trail leading left of the waterfall. We were hoping for a better view of the falls, but the trail was super overgrown.

I loved this tree standing its ground in the middle of the waterfall.

2011-07-20T14:11:00.000-07:00

Salt Lake Bees

vs.

Sacramento Rivercats

Win: 5-3

What kind of name is the Rivercats? Bothered me.

Loves:

Churro
#32 who I named "Little Kid". He looked kind of like the redhead chubster on Sandlot. He was fantastic, and I loved calling out to him.
Watching awkward gross men try to hit on a skinny girl with fake boobs. Loved making my friends laugh by calling things out like, "No chance, you're old!" but making it look like I was commenting on the game.
Helping the old people in front of us read their tickets so they knew which seats to sit in.
Big rain drops
Listening to the guy next to us tell us everything baseball and faking like I knew/cared what he was talking about.
Embarrassing my friends by faking like I was super scared of foul balls and loudly complaining that I should have brought my mitt. (I really am scared of foul balls, just not super scared.)
Watching the guy with a broken arm in a sling three seats down from me get nailed in the stomach by a foul ball, listening to him yell at the kid in front of him for not catching it, watching him lift up his shirt to show us the imprint of the stitches on the baseball, and me not being able to stop laughing for way too long once I knew he was okay.

2011-07-20T13:49:00.000-07:00

First Multi-Pitch Climb ... kind of

(No Pic Post)

Early Monday morning, I went climbing up Little Cottonwood Canyon with three of my friends. We scrambled over rocks to get at the base of a climb, I got sweaty as always, we saw what was either a rogue lizard or a baby rattlesnake, we were filled in that this would be a multi-pitch climb (I was terrified, it showed, I've sworn in the past I would never do a multi-pitch climb), and we had a super scary climb down to our eventual starting point.

I tried to keep our little group of three laughing while out of the corner of my eye I saw our friend who was leading trad struggle with the climb. Gulp. This did not bode well since he's an excellent climber and I still put myself in the beginner's category. I went second, pre-apologized for being slow because I always am, and had sweaty hands before I even started.

Right at the beginning, the climb was rough, and I wasn't used to the weight of the second rope tied to the back of my harness. I did love being belayed from the top; I felt super secure the entire time. I've cried on past climbs in scary spots, but even though this was extremely scary and hard, no tears: a small success.

I've never climbed this type of route, and I don't know quite how to describe it. Basically you followed a crack the entire time, so I was turned to one side for the majority of the climb rather than full on facing the rock. There was one spot where I literally had no footing, my feet slid every time. So I jammed my hands around a slabby rock, bear hugged it, kept telling myself out loud that I was doing a fantastic job, and somehow shimmied up like a guy climbing a banana tree but with extremely limited footing ... I'm sure I looked ridiculous. However, I made it! I was so proud of myself. The view was fantastic! Unfortunately, we couldn't do the second pitch because our friend had to get back to his wife. We self-rappelled, another first (I guess not counting when I rappelled into the auditorium at school during an assembly), and again, I was scared. However, it was super easy and pretty fun actually.

2011-07-20T13:37:00.000-07:00

Bateman Backyard Fun

Abe "taking a bath".

Get ready to get dizzy. I let the boys play with my waterproof camera.

2011-07-11T21:41:00.000-07:00

2011-07-11T13:38:00.000-07:00

Cabin Camping - Strawberry Reservoir

Are you kidding?

I went to my friends' cabin Friday night and we stayed until Saturday night. It was so incredible. I wish I would have taken more pictures of the cabin, but I'm sure I would have looked like a big dork.

Uh oh, I knew little Emily would not like this at all.

Yep, the very goat that we spent hours watching through binoculars in Montana.

In one of the upstairs bedrooms there's an exploded picture of my friends' uncle decked out in his hunting gear holding this guy's head in his hands. It was a little sad at first, but then I couldn't help but laugh to myself every time I looked at this mountain goat. Why did I laugh? I don't know, it just seemed funny to me after awhile. His face looks like a skinny santa.

The short trip was fantastic minus being riddled with mosquito bites. We played horseshoes, rode dirt bikes, played a new game I love called golf, laughed at each other's hilarious stories, went boating, tubing, cliff jumping, and played with their dog named Bear.

One of my favorite stories that came out:

Bear is my friend Nate's dog, and apparently a few years ago Nate and Bear were in a parade together. Nate would throw a frisbee and Bear would catch it. The crowd loved it; however, towards the end, Bear did not love it. Nate said poor Bear was so tired by the end that Bear pooped on the frisbee.

2011-07-08T10:49:00.000-07:00

Kaysville 4th of July Parade

Jackie's sister Jessica's girls: Margot and Addie, and Eli and Abe

Margot and Addie were wearing bead necklaces that they kept from last year's parade. However, they put on sunscreen before putting on the necklaces and their necks turned blue.

Later during the parade, there was a float throwing out stuffed animals. Eli and I were desperate to catch one. We got a pink hippopotamus. Eli looked at it with pure loathing, looked at me in disgust, then threw it at me like it was going to nerd him up. I gave it to Margot who loved it.

When the Missionary Mall float passed us and threw out ties, I didn't catch one. (Head down in shame.) James caught two. I really was super sad.

Abe

Paddy Wagon

The boys thought this was hilarious. "Look at the dog!"

Eli, James, and Abe

They're coming...

End of the parade firetrucks.

Necessary Armament

Lots of water was used while we waited not so patiently.

Unsuspecting

2011-07-03T21:52:00.000-07:00

Glacier National Park - Day Six

We spent the night at our last Super 8 in Bozeman, Montana. Zach and Em and Toby stayed in Whitefish with their friend Erik and his family. Little Emily had been staying with them, so she was out of luck when it came to a room. When my dad called my grandma to ask her where she'd like to put Em, she originally was going to be staying with my grandma. We convinced my grandma that Em could stay with me and Eric and Dra. Emily and I had been laughing non-stop this entire trip. I think my main goal was to get her to laugh at anything and everything I said. She made me laugh way hard too. So ... I think Eric wasn't too excited that we were going to be staying in the same room as him. He barely said a word the entire night. All in all though, I really enjoyed our room arrangements.

(Example of the lame extremes I went to make Em laugh:

We passed a sign with the name Charlie Wong on it. I pointed it out to Em then said, "Too bad he's never right, he's always wong." She asthma laughed so hard my dad insisted she repeat the joke. Too bad when she finally calmed down to tell it she told it wong.)

Why is it called Quake Lake? Ezra will tell you.

Me and Eli

In 1959, that entire slice of the mountain came roaring down during the earthquake, it crushed cars, buried people, dammed the river, and slid up on to the side we're standing on. Scary. My dad and his family had been vacationing up here at the time and left the day before the earthquake.

Eli and the boulder that never rolled; it just slid to the other side.

Ezra and another massive boulder.

Quake Lake

We watched a movie in the visitor's center. It told how 29 people died, there were 100 + mph winds created because of the rock slide, cabins were washed away, the nearby Hebgen Lake's sloshing threatened the dam, roads cracked and dropped, boulders crushed cars and tents ... It must have been absolutely horrifying.

On our way home we stopped in Idaho Falls again to see my Grandma Carver. She was out driving ... we all thought she was told not to drive again. We went over to my Aunt Pat's house to see her and her family, and my Grandma C slowly drove past us. We shouted and did jumping jacks, and she took no notice. It was fun to see Trent, Val, and Kim and their cute little families.

2011-07-03T21:32:00.000-07:00

Glacier National Park - Day Five

I ran a measly two miles and it was rough. Probably had a hard time cause I've been eating such delicious food the entire time. (My favorite was the slab of strawberry rhubarb pie, warmed, with a scoop of ice cream.) I ran by a bridge Em and I had discussed jumping off of. It wouldn't have worked, the water was shallow, and there was a big pipe right where we would have landed.

Yummy banana, strawberry, and nutella crepe from the Farmer's/Art Market downtown. I also bought a big picture of Avalanche Lake. (My only souvenir purchase of the entire trip.)

We got to go for a helicopter ride!

Me and Ezra ready to go.

It took three separate trips to get our entire family's turn in. I got to go with James and Jackie and the boys. Jackie sat next to me with Abe on her lap, and James got to sit up front with Eli on his lap.

Right as we were taking off, Ezra told me he was getting dizzy. Uh oh. He did just fine. I don't think he looked out the window much, but I still kept trying to point things out to him. He laid his sweet little head on my shoulder a few times. I was hoping he wasn't feeling sick. He told Emily later that he had two voices in his head. One was telling him to open the door, and the other was telling him not to open the door. He was glad he listened to the one telling him not to open the door. Em said she was speechless.

Poor Ezra cried as we descended because it hurt his ears so bad.

My pictures weren't turning out so good, so I just stopped taking pictures and took it all in. I'm shaking my head trying to describe how ridiculously amazing the ride was. We went to the peaks of mountains, we saw glaciers, we saw lakes filled with ice, we saw waterfalls ... I think my mouth was open in awe the majority of the ride.

Toby cried and cried when we took off without him. So when it was his family's turn, they decided to try to let him go. Can you tell he's in the front on Zach's lap? Can you tell he's screaming? We took him out before they took off. At least he got to sit in a helicopter.

This took up most of our afternoon. While we waited for everyone to get their helicopter turn in, James played baseball with the boys. Ezra ran to the craziest far away spots for the bases. Sure did make me laugh. Zach's Emily and I walked to a little store, and I'm still regretting not buying this really cute cowboy hat they had.

The rest of the day was spent driving to Bozeman. It seemed like we drove past Flathead Lake forever. It's such a big lake.

2011-07-03T21:17:00.000-07:00

Glacier National Park - Day Four

We decided to drive to the other side of the park, but the Going to the Sun Road is still closed because of 30+ ft of snow drifts. So what could have been a 30 mile drive turned into a 300 mile drive. I slept a lot.

Back to Goat Lick

The ironic part is the fact that we drove past this on our way back home later this day. Tons of cars were pulled over, there were way more goats, but it was raining and we all had plenty of pictures of goats. We really didn't feel like we needed to make a third trip to Goat Lick. Later we found out from our grandma there was a momma bear and her cubs. Nuts.

James and Jackie and the Boys

James and Abe

We walked around a bit and took a lot of pictures. We stared at this mountain face for a long time with cameras zoomed and binoculars out. There were mountain goats and bighorn sheep on the face. The bighorn sheep were butting heads, and I got to see a pair butt heads while I was looking through the binoculars! We had to cross a stream on this trail, and right as we turned the corner and saw the stream, two bighorn sheep crossed right in front of us.

2011-07-03T09:56:00.000-07:00

Glacier National Park - Day Three

We made it! Day three was my absolute favorite of the entire trip. Get ready for a Butte-load of pictures. Once inside the park, we first headed to Lake McDonald.

Toby loved throwing rocks into the lake. He did not love leaving the lake.

Lake McDonald

Ezra at Avalanche Creek announcing, "I love being outside!" Amen to that.

Toby didn't think twice about running through puddles of mud.

Jackie and her boys at the trailhead to Avalanche Lake.

Part of Avalanche Creek

Probably the best picture I've ever taken in my life.

The hike to Avalanche Lake was about 4 miles roundtrip. We saw so many waterfalls on the way up.

The Gang

We had to walk through mud and water in a lot of parts. Jay didn't have the best of hiking shoes, and I'm sure he was nervous my dad would be mad if he got mud on his shoes. So Jay proceeded to take FOREVER at the muddy parts and try to find a way around. There was never a way around. So he just offroaded and got more muddy and at one point, hung on to a tree for support, but the tree was dead, so it fell, and it scared us so bad because it looked like it fell on his head. It didn't fall on his head, and he was fine, and he loved retelling the story of how he's so strong, he knocked over a tree. All of this went down while he was wearing my mom's hat. Stay tuned for a picture of the hat.

James and Jackie's boys all had on water-type hiking shoes. On the way down, Eli walked right through a squishy puddle of mud. He stood there and laughed and sank for a bit, then we told him he could rinse off in the next little stream we had to cross. He stood in the stream, but needed encouragement to swish his feet around to actually get the mud off. He then proceeded to kick the water, excellent at getting the mud off, but he aimed at Ezra the whole time he was kicking.

Avalanche Lake!

Me and Toby

Eli the Lake Monster

Abe, Eli, and Ezra all rolled up their pants and ran into the water.

Ezra, Jackie, and I were hiking down, and we saw the same deer who had scared the crap out of us as we were hiking up. On the way down, I was telling Ezra everything I know about leeches, and then this deer was right back in front of us. It got so close that I pushed Ezra behind me.

After we finished our hike to Avalanche Lake, we walked around the Trail of Cedars, then we stopped at this little lookout. The rapids were amazing.

My dad asked permission to stop at this hotel, dang, I'm blanking the name. Apparently, they've transformed these trains into little rooms you can rent out: My dad's heaven.

Our next stop was a place called Goat Lick. The mountain goats climb down these precarious rocks to lick the salt. It was pouring at this point in our trip. It started to rain just a tiny bit right when we got to our cars after our hike to Avalanche Lake. Other families in the Bateman group weren't so lucky to have finished their hikes before the rain started.

Ghost Lick

Can you see the goats?

Toby insisted he get a turn with the binoculars.

"Wanna see! Wanna see! My turn?" He laughed while he was looking, who knows what he was actually looking at. Yes, that's Jay in the background wearing my mom's hat.

Can you see the goats in this picture? They're at the ridge kind of on the left.

On the other side of the road, there was a ravine with a bridge we drove over. My dad pulled over, and what do you know? More goats!

View from the bridge

Jay the Celebrity

On our way out, we stopped to use the restroom at a little shop/restaurant. The shop had VHS movies for sale, and Jay found Seasons of the Heart in their collection. He went around and told everyone who worked there that he's in the movie. One guy asked him if he was going to do more movies, and Jay said no, but he would give autographs. The guy laughed and laughed.

2011-07-03T09:28:00.000-07:00

Glacier National Park - Day Two

My Grandma Bateman insisted we all go to the rock museum before making our way to Whitefish, Montana. Knowing we had to hustle to get to the museum right when it opened (again, Brent-style), I got up early to avoid getting a vacation gut. I ran a little 5k around the city and got to see some cute little houses and a big park and a homeless guy riding his bike. The biking homeless guy and I regarded each other.

Later, after we loaded all of our stuff, Emily climbed into the suburban and chirped, "Good morning everyone!" I was the only one who laughed, and Eric muttered something about how it was way too early to be so happy.

View of Butte from the rock museum

Typical Zach

Eli loves bugs. As we sat on the benches, I pointed out the huge black ants that were everywhere, and Eli found a regular size ant to compare them to. I wish I had him saying, "So cute!" on video.

In the rock museum, they had an earthquake section. There was a sign encouraging visitors to sit in this rocking chair and share their earthquake stories. I told Ezra to sit in the chair and tell me his stories, and he proceeded to act like an old Grandpa with ridiculous earthquake stories.

Toby and Eli trying to register on the richter scale. A worker came over later and muttered something about, "Oh great, kids have been playing with this." Oops, isn't that what it's there for?

I was out cold for most of the time in the car. I woke up as we pulled over to view this enormous lake, unfortunately, I have no idea what lake it was. Sure was beautiful though. (Asked my dad, it's Flathead Lake.)

2011-07-02T21:47:00.001-07:00

Glacier National Park - Day One

Monday morning, bright and early Brent-style, my family and I embarked on an amazing vacation orchestrated by my generous Grandma Bateman. Our first stop was Idaho Falls to visit our Grandma Carver.

The Falls in Idaho Falls

Wish it was the day they floated rubber duckies.

After downing pizza and frozen cookies, watching a hawk drop a dead bird from the sky, and playing with Grandma's wig (which terrified Eli), we climbed back into our vehicles.

Our final destination for our first day was Butte, Montana.

The statue in the background of this picture was the Lady of the Rockies.

What can we do in Butte, Montana? We drove around the old part of town, visited a memorial to miners who died in a fire, and visited this pit. This pit is where I got my one and only mosquito bite of the entire trip, and right before we found this place, I made a joke designed just for my dad. He loved it. My mom did not.

The set up for the joke:

We were still driving in the old town part, my dad was trying to turn left at a light, but pedestrians kept crossing the street. It wasn't too big of a deal, until the light turned red, and my dad was stuck in the middle of the intersection, and people kept crossing the street. My dad was frustrated, muttering things like, "Idiots!"

I saved the day with, "Dad, don't worry about it, they're just Butte-holes."

He laughed so hard, I could see the smile on his face even though I was sitting behind him. My mom was super disappointed that her own daughter would say such a terrible thing.

The Pit

There's a waterfall in the background, and I learned from the plaques that if one was to swim in this water, it would be like swimming in vinegar and cola. When I showed this to Jay, he asked me if there were great whites in the water. Forehead slap.

2011-06-26T15:44:00.000-07:00

Brighton and Donut Falls

Stewart and Eva wanted to hike to Mary's lake, but our way was blocked by muddy puddles and snow. We decided to head to Donut Falls afterwards.

Is the name of this lake Silver Lake? The lake that's right by Brighton's Resort?

Carl had on watershoes, so there was lots of running through puddles.

Snow everywhere.

Work of a beaver.

The gnawed off stumps of trees were about four feet or even higher off the ground, and as I stated my ignorance to the fact that beavers can climb trees, Stewart laughed at me. "Amy, they were standing on snow when they did that."

Stewart borrowed this sign to be his walking stick for awhile.

This is about when Stewart declared we turn around and go down the canyon and find a different hike. Carl proceeded to lay on his belly on the boardwalk and dig trash out of the lake. He also brought home three waterlogged logs to put in his fish tank.

Later at Donut Falls.

Stewart posing with his new climbing stick and the boys we caught smoking pot.

This is as close as we could get to the falls. Well, Carl walked in a ways of course, but this is as close as I would get.

The bridge on the way to the falls. So much water.

2011-06-25T20:10:00.000-07:00

Manti Mormon Miracle Pageant

Me and ... Mormon?

Carl and some Extras

Have you been to this pageant? I thought I had been when I was little, but the set up was so different from what I have in my memory, I wonder if this really was my first time. I loved it. It was a little cheesy, but most LDS spectacles are. When the lights turned out and the spotlight pointed out Moroni on the very top of the temple, facing East, blowing his trumpet while his clothes fluttered in the wind ... I couldn't breathe. I had chills up and down my body and a big lump in my throat. When Jesus came to America and blessed the children, I blamed my sniffling on allergies. I loved it.

Carl's parents (Eva and Stewart) picked us up and we headed down in Eva's mini cooper. Stewart's a very big boy and had me laughing the entire time with his shenanigans. My absolute favorite was after the pageant when we pulled over at a Maverick to fill up Stewart's Big Gulp. I tried to wait patiently in line for the bathroom, but it went nowhere and I eventually gave up.

While I was being patient, I spied Stewart filling his Big Gulp with some Coke, then a pump of cherry, then he'd taste it, then he'd put some more Coke, some more cherry, taste it. He was determined to make this the most perfect soda ever.

Later, after I gave up and joined everyone, Stewart wouldn't let me say no to treats (It was almost midnight, we'd eaten funnel cake and fried potatoes and candy bars, my stomach was not happy). Stewart shoved an ice cream in my hand, "Amy! It's the best thing you've ever eaten, best thing ever! You can get them for fifty cents in China, but I'm happy to pay two bucks for you. Here, let's each get one! Eva! Grab four!" if only I could convey his tone, pure funny. I laughed while I tried to say no and warned him that I would definitely spill in the car, "Amy! We don't care, we don't care! You could wipe it all over the seat!" He then set his huge drink which he had masterfully concocted on the counter, told the lady to charge him for four ice creams and 300 Big Reds. I laughed, the lady paused and immediately sprouted worried eyebrows. "I'm just teasing, what would I do with 300 Big Reds?"

As we climbed into our little clown car, Carl sat behind Stewart, but that was my seat, so Carl and Stewart obnoxiously bickered back and forth.

"Carl! Carl! Move it, you can't sit there! You can't fit, Amy has to sit there."

"Dad! I'm fine, I'll just put my legs up."

"Carl, hurry up and move, I'm not kidding."

Carl didn't move, we were fine, Stewart got in the driver's seat and started to back up with ice cream in his left hand which was steering while his right hand was shifting.

Then there was a bumping sound. Not quite hitting a car sound, maybe running over a small animal sound... We were all confused until,

"Scheisse! My drink!"

I was rocking back and forth I was laughing so hard. Stewart had left his drink on top of the car. "My drink Eva! My drink! It was so perfect, oh! What a waste Eva, what a waste. No, I'm not going to go fill it up again! I can't believe all of that, wasted. Oh ... we have to get out of here, those teenagers are laughing at us."

There really were teenagers laughing at us.

Then Stewart almost drove off the curb in his rush to get out of there. He also dropped a panel of chocolate from his ice cream. "Oh perfect, now my ice cream is ruined too, what a waste Eva, what a waste! I don't know where it went! You can eat it if you find it Eva, you can eat it."

2011-06-24T10:11:00.001-07:00

My Summer Song

The Naked and Famous - Young Blood

2011-06-23T08:34:00.000-07:00

Ezra's Baseball Game

I sometimes hesitate whether I want to drive all the way to Kaysville for Ezra's games, but these days of everyone-wins-baseball are quickly becoming my favorite. One of yesterday's laughs was brought to you by me. I forgot to ask my dad if it was okay if we picked up Toby and Emily until we were at the field. I was laughing so hard while I tried to tell him I forgot and still try to get permission to go get them, and he, in ultimate Brent frustration while turning the suburban around, kept saying, "Well I had no idea!" and my mom said multiple times, "Well of course you didn't, because she's trying to tell you she forgot to ask you."

Another laugh was brought to you by Zach while we were at Arctic Circle. He licked a face into his ice cream cone, got my attention, pretended to talk to Ice Cream Face, pretended Ice Cream Face whispered a joke in his ear, then Zach held his hand to his mouth, closed his eyes, and laughed. Ultimate funny, which was replaced by another funny when he tried to do the same to little Emily and she got confused. She had missed the face in the ice cream, a key component to the hilarity.

2011-06-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

Shotgun Shooting West of Utah Lake

* I am scared of guns.

* I hate really loud noises.

* Despite these two potentially major setbacks; I had a fabulous time.

Cousins Jeremy and Carl setting up targets.

(Jeremy left, Carl right)

We brought some non-trashy items such as clay pigeons, and painted targets, but then Jeremy insisted on bringing a can of spaghetti sauce, a yogurt, and later he dug in his car and pulled out a water bottle and his front license plate.

Me wearing Jeff's huge jacket.

I hit the yogurt first try! (I think Jer was mad that he didn't get it.) Grandpa Carver would be so proud. I hit two clay pigeons, the yogurt, tried my best at the far painted target, and hit it, but never inside the target.

You probably can't tell, but we were also shooting at a plasma tv that was already out there.

So classy.

Mt. Timp, I'll see you soon buddy.

The Boys

Carl vs. Dan

(Carl left, Dan right)

2011-06-20T23:33:00.000-07:00

My favorite find of the week.

Please tell me you laughed really hard too.

Will someone please send me a saxagram?

2011-06-20T23:21:00.000-07:00

Farmer's Market & Gateway Chalk Art Show

Saturday Morning

Bagpipes immediately command tears to come to my eyes. Every time.

My dad gave Dra $1 to run through the fountain. I love that he was so upset, but if he was the one earning the $1, he would have been so so proud of himself. He's just sad he was on the other end of the deal.

2011-06-19T07:27:00.000-07:00

A few Rodeo Videos

Thank you youtube.

Mutton Busters:

Pretty sure every single kid cried when they either fell off, were thrown off, or were rolled over on. I loved watching the sheep bleat and prance when they were free of a kid. I loved watching the sheep run around in a panic until they saw their friends then almost bowl each other over when they tried to join the herd.

Cash Cow:

I was extremely uncomfortable but also entertained. I was so scared a kid would get trampled.

2011-06-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

Who goes to the rodeo twice in one week? Me!

Pleasant Grove Rodeo - Strawberry Days - Wednesday & Friday Night

I brought hats for me and Dra for Friday's rodeo.

Mommies and Babies

I have awesome video of Mutton Busting and Cash Cow Chase, but the vids are being sassy and won't upload. For a few more details about Friday's adventure, check out this chick's blog.

Quick list of rodeo loves (Wed & Fri combined):

Strawberries and Cream "$1.50?! Yes, please!"
Laughing it up with my sissies.
Mike's stupid fire engine joke.
Fireworks
Watching the Chick Fil-A Cow almost eat it on the stairs, then watching them gingerly sit down and take a breather because the mascot was so scared.
Shaking my head at boys who still wear jeans with that lame loop for hammers.
The mutton buster who held on for so long that eventually his entire body had swung underneath the sheep so he was literally hugging the sheep's belly while the announcer called out, "Let go!"
The lady sitting next to us on the top row who watched her flip flop fall through the bleachers to the ground below.
Watching cowboys show cows who's boss.

2011-06-17T16:06:00.001-07:00

Free, free, free!

I've had a math conference this entire week, and I had to present twice this morning (3 hours total of presenting), but now I'm free! I have so many ridiculous stories of crazy comments, me wanting to bang my head against the wall, and gaggles of people who do not understand social cues.

The first thing a stranger man said to me this morning as I rolled in with all of my materials to present, "Amy! You look very adult today!"

In my head, "What the hell does that mean?" Out my mouth, "Thanks!"

I went on a short run this morning, shorter than I planned because I hit snooze a few times, but it was good to get out and sweaty while it's still a little cold outside, and I knew it would soothe my jangled nerves before my conference presentation. My ipod was screaming Beyonce's Best Thing I Never Had, I was lifting my arms to avoid touching the weeds that have grown to be as tall as me, and then ... rattlesnake! I scared him, he scared me.

2011-06-11T18:15:00.001-07:00

Yesterday as I prepped for our family bbq, Zach and Emily were testing me on which songs they could play for me and I would like. Em knows me extremely well, but Zach trumped her with this diddy. I confessed that it makes me a little emotional when I hear this song.

2011-06-11T10:31:00.001-07:00

Summer Vaca Play by Play

Day One:

Went in to work to finish my presentation for a math conference next week. What should have taken 30 minutes to finalize took 2 hours due to slack-jawed yokels who wouldn't leave me alone to work.
Went home with high hopes of running or going on a hike. Instead, watched hours and hours of tv. The Voice? Caught up. MasterChef? Caught up. Other shows I can no longer remember even though it has only been two days? Caught up. I seriously haven't watched tv at all in the last two weeks, and I fit it all in in one extremely depressing afternoon.
Took a refreshing siesta.
Tried to go on a hike later, snow and locked gates deterred us.
Ate an awesome burrito.
Had a fire in a backyard, ate smores, told the only hilarious scary story, cringed at "Want to see the tricks I can do with fire?"

Day Two:

Vowed to stay clear of the tv.
Went to Gamma B's to help with yardwork. Snapped a pic of her robin's nest, helped her weed her flower beds, mowed most of the front lawn, pulled weeds out of cracks in the sidewalk (banged my arm really hard when I tried to pull a poppa out that was growing under her table), mowed most of the backyard, tested her pool water temperature, helped her skim the top for leaves and bugs, sat and listened to her stories of her adventures from her 3 week Civil War trip.
Ate a burger with my dad.
Hit up the grocery store and post office.
Played and barbequed with family. Ate another burger.
1st summer game of bocce resulted in 1st glorious come back win of the summer.
Bonfire up the canyon where I bumped into Spence (he gave me the painting below). I was also reminded of how immature I am when I couldn't stop laughing when I learned that one of the guys at the bonfire used to climb to the very tops of trees when he was little and take a dump. Park Ranger kicked us out at 10, poor old guy in the booth told us to pay him next time when we confessed we didn't have any money with us or checkbooks. I'd feel bad if I was lying, but I wasn't lying.
1st bullet bike ride since my accident of '05. Not going to pretend, I was absolutely terrified the entire time.

Day Three:

Ate some of my roommate's cereal.
Turned down wakeboarding. (The boat was going to be so full.)
Sang at the top of my lungs while taking a bath.
Updated the blog with boring details, excited to see 0 comments when I faithfully come back to check.
Already excited for a killer day.

2011-06-09T14:21:00.000-07:00

Isn't this amazing? I wish you could feel the texture. One of my mentees made it for me and wrote the kindest note on the back. I will treasure it forever.

2011-06-04T11:49:00.000-07:00

Lake Powell

My lake powell adventure wasn't nearly as eventful as this dude's, but we sure did have fun. I did hate night two of wind from hell. I woke up angry. (Think of the Chris Farley video of Chris' reaction to just finding out he was drinking a certain kind of coffee.) I bumped in to the one and only Karli Davies on the last day. We drove out of the parking lot, decided to stop at the bathrooms at the top, all the stalls were full, I waited in front of one specific stall, and when the door opened ... "Amy!?" I felt like I was on the price of right and I had picked the the winning door. So I got to see my little Karli, Morgan, and Janey and their poor sunburned bodies and sandwhipped hair.

I'd post pics of me wakeboarding and wakesurfing, but I need to get a tan before I show those babies on the internet. So enjoy my cool friend Brian.

2011-05-25T12:07:00.000-07:00

One of my most challenging yet favorite 7th graders: "I hate gravity! Why can't I sleep on the wall gravity, why?!" all said while wearing a huge cape and taped glasses because it's Harry Potter day today.

2011-05-21T23:28:00.000-07:00

Jacked up the background on my laptop, should be sleeping instead of messing around with such lame things, and while searching for a new background picture, I ended up browsing through old videos Em created on one of our little hikes. I'll never tire of her giggle, and I'll keep doing dumb things to hear it bubble out.

2011-05-11T16:30:00.000-07:00

Things to Remember:

1) 7th grader whispered, "I know where eggplants come from! You start by burying an egg in the ground ..." I turned around, rubbed my eyes, and laughed a lot.

2) Helped with PE today, loved every second of it. Me to a 9th grade lazy butt, "Hey! I can hold your jacket for you, happy to do it. Perfect. You can earn it back by running the entire two laps you were asked to. Off you go, good luck, so proud of you!" Sucker. The gym teacher did say that he's never seen the kid run so hard before.

3) During an afternoon 7th grade class, one boy was riddled with the hiccups. I quizzed him on every little stupid detail about everything he had eaten today. I finally stopped asking him about his intake and followed up with, "Are your hiccups gone?"

He stared off into space, "... Yup!"

I said, "I'm a smart little Ms. Bateman and not just math smart huh?" I'm so proud that I can make a class of 30 twelve year olds laugh.

I caught the boy with his elbow on his desk, his hand cradling his head, then in a bit of a sad voice, he plead, "Ms. Bateman, can you make them come back?"

4) Went to my parents' house after school for potential climbing with Em. The garage door was shut, and Em's car wasn't out front, so I assumed the front door was locked. Fortunately, out came Jay right when I pulled up. He looked happy and didn't have his shoes on.

Me: "Hey Jay! Wait ... why are you only wearing one sock?"
Jay: "It's upstairs," said in a sassy where-else-would-it-be tone.

2011-05-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

I want to start running trails in Corner Canyon. My sisters agreed to check out some trails this morning and Jay ended up coming with us. His hair was gelled, his jeans were pulled up high, and his water bottle was shoved in his back pocket. I encouraged him not to bring his big jacket.

Along the way, he and I had the following conversation:

Jay: "You hear the good news?"
Me: "Nope!"
Jay: "I have a new friend."
Me: "Oh yeah?"
Jay: "At the young single adults activity, I met a new friend."
Me: "Cool Jay, boy or girl?"
Jay: "I don't know."
Me: Pause.
Me: "You don't know if your friend is a boy or girl?"
Jay: Super happy, "Nope!"
Me: Mumbled, "This conversation just got a lot more interesting."

2011-04-30T17:10:00.000-07:00

A few weekends ago, I was politely participating in a painful game of super lame questions. It was a terrible attempt at truth or dare without the fun of dares and without the creativeness of awkward truths.

A boy threw out the question, "If you got to choose a singer to sing your life story, who would you choose?" (See, super lame.)

A girl happily called out, "Phil Collins!" to which I immediately burst into hysterical, full-belly laughter.

When I opened my eyes after my hearty laugh, I realized no one else was laughing or even smiling.

I put my head down on my arms, and heard, "Amy, I am offended. I was being serious."

I took a deep breath, kept my head down, and mumbled a sincere apology mixed with a lame explanation of, "If you knew my family ... inside joke ... " and tried to think not-funny thoughts.

"She's still laughing, look, she's shaking," stupid-question boy pointed out.

2011-04-28T19:52:00.000-07:00

Wondered what I look like when I laugh.

Here's my reaction to the failblog post about the guy's burger being taken by a tornado and the elementary mascot fail.

Next project: What do I look like when I sneeze? I'll probably keep that to myself.

2011-04-18T18:01:00.000-07:00

Salt Lake 1/2 Marathon: More Details

For a great play by play, check out my sissy's blog.

2011-04-17T07:56:00.000-07:00

Salt Lake 1/2 Marathon

Loves:

* Riding with Kolten in the morning and listening to his great music.

* Jumping jacks galore when we saw cute Natalie and were trying to get her attention.

* Tears down my face when I saw a blind runner.

* Swallowing really hard when I saw a marathoner on crutches.

* Seeing Candace and Lara along the route, (competitive part of me loves that we passed them).

* Chatting it up with Garth Horton in the rain on the terrible part of State Street.

* Kolten's insistence we take a goo packet each.

* Running with Dra the entire time.

* Perfect running weather.

* High-fiving little kids along the way.

* Seeing friends at the finish line.

* Hugging my sissy at the end.

2011-04-13T19:17:00.000-07:00

Arcade Fire Concert!

My absolute, hands down, even if an Elaine-like dancer is in front of me the entire time, favorite band live.

Sorry Black Keys, you're a close second though.

Me and my buddy before we moved to the floor to shake it.

My buddy Patrick and his tiny frosty buddy.

*Thank you Emily for letting me snake your pictures.

2011-04-12T19:34:00.000-07:00

Ezra Turned 6 Today!

This is a picture from last year when he turned 5.

I was wandering around WalMart yesterday with Jackie on the phone, trying to figure out what to get the little birthday boy. After hanging up, my eyes settled on the perfect gift for Ezra. (Picture shown above.)

He is the sweetest kid ever. He ran around and gave us each hugs after he opened his presents, and made sure we knew he loved his presents. Andrea said that later at dinner he confessed, "I sure do love all of my presents, but my favorite is my sea monkeys!" I caught him cuddling the package at one point, and he and I talked and talked about everything sea monkeys.

* Don't want to forget: I love that Ezra asked if I would sit next to him during the movie, and then when little Addy wanted to sit next to him too, he sweetly said, "Well, I want to sit next to my Aunt Amy."

2011-04-11T16:52:00.000-07:00

Some great quotes from school today:

1) "I won't be teaching today, I have a massive headache and might pass out at any second. Take this worksheet and finish it, but don't ask questions please." (Said to a child as he tried to walk into class. I watched dumbfounded.)

2) "Why don't you cry like other teachers cry?" (I was quizzed as I walked kids back from the gully after I helped them plant peas. I assured them it's because I don't have feelings.)

3) After planting our seeds, I was herding the cats (children), when I stumbled on a wonderful situation. "A worm! Let's put him in the water! No, no, he won't drown Ms. Bateman, he's the new Michael Phelps! Swim Michael, swim! No, don't dig in the rocks, swim!"

4) While observing another teacher, she directed this at a student, "Take your stuff and shit over there in the corner ... sit over there in the corner."

2011-04-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

Meet Nic VanDyken. I have been co-teaching with him this year. I adore him, and I like to think I am cooler since I'm buds with such a rad splitboarder.

2011-04-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

Today, two of my 9th grade girls came to 5th period late with excusal notes from the office. I'm annoyed.

In the middle of class, they both got a note requesting that they go back to the office. I am even more annoyed. Wondering if they're scheming, I make sure to send them at separate times.

They wander back in together with about five minutes left in class (volcano erupting annoyance) . Perfect, they missed our entire lesson. Good thing I've been posting each lesson on youtube lately.

Right before the bell rings to let class out, I get this message from our hall monitor, Kat:

"We are trying to get a statement from Oakli and Gabbi, and they are not being cooperative. even though we sent them back to class, we have asked them NOT TO COMMUNICATE. Obviously we think that they will. If you see them talking or if they pass a note of any kind, please confiscate it and call me immediately!! Thank you "

I'm burning holes into the back of their heads. The bell rings and I watch Oakli toss a tiny, bright yellow note to Gabbi, but it falls short and lands on the floor. They know I hate notes; they know I hate garbage on the floor. I tell Oakli to grab it and hand it to me. Then I hold Oakli after to keep her away from Gabbi for a bit longer.

Once they're out of my sight, I unravel the note:

I am thinking, "What the crap are they up to! I cannot wait to give this to Kat." Then I flip over to the backside of the note:

I was duped! How did everything work out so perfectly? The girls came back in as I was sending a note to Kat. They laughed and laughed and ran out, "We love you Ms. Bateman!"

2011-03-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

Today in Math 7, my students finished with ten minutes still left in class. What to do? What to do? We decided to get silly and play math pictionary using the words from our word wall. Our second volunteer was so excited to come to the board. He drew the following:

"Obtuse! It's obtuse!" The children excitedly called out.
He was so proud of himself; the class was so proud that they guessed it.

I was bent over, laughing, then squeaked out, "Let's have a quick discussion on the differences between obtuse and obese."

2011-03-26T19:52:00.000-07:00

I just heard an adorably hilarious Ezra story from my mom, and I hope Jackie's okay if I blog about it. I can't get enough of Ezra; I love his guts.

Apparently, he climbed into James and Jackie's bed one morning, but kept chatting when Jackie was trying to fall back asleep. He asked her if he was a genius, and she gently explained that usually people have to be older before being classified as a genius, and yes, he is extremely smart, but no, he might not be a genius.

Ezra started crying, "But the only thing I've ever wanted was to be a genius!"

2011-03-26T17:11:00.000-07:00

Money Money Money!

The other morning I was touching my toes after a great run (great because I had just finished), when something green winked at me from the gutter. Money! I went in for a closer look, thinking to myself that I wasn't willing to touch it since it was in the gutter, but I gasped and snatched it up quick. I promptly put it in the pocket of my running pants. Then my cute older neighbor came around the corner and almost scared the money out of my pocket.

"There's our athlete!" She embarrasses me. Did I ever mention how when I moved in she asked if I was a body builder? Sheesh.

After worrying if this was one of the situations that we go through in primary of how to deal with it honestly, I called my dad.

Me: "Dad! you will never believe what I found on my run today!"

Dad: "A dead raccoon?"

Me: "Better!"

I can't remember how the rest of his guessing game went.

Me: "Dad, I found a one hundred dollar bill!"

Dad: Silence. "You're kidding me."

He helped me figure out exactly what to say when I called the apartment office.

Greatest news is no one called in! Mine, mine, mine! I like to think that it makes up for the night in college when someone took my Friday night waitressing tips.

It sure pays to run.

2011-01-31T20:56:00.000-08:00

Very recently, I was sitting in church thinking about how scary it is that I was just called to be a ward missionary, and then I started thinking about how I might have to speak in church about it, then I let myself daydream about my nephews coming up to sing, "I hope they call me on a mission ..." then I all but bawled my mascara off thinking of them not only growing up but also leaving me for two years.

I am desperate for a nephew hug right now.

2010-12-26T20:59:00.000-08:00

Death by Puffy Face

Day One:

While hanging out with Ben, my entire neck throbs with whiplash-like pains for no good reason. My glands must have been flipping out. Once at my mom's, she begs me to go to instacare so I don't get the rest of the family sick when they're over for the holidays. Ugh. I take myself, I end up seeing the same doctor that stitched up Ben's leg after my snowboard sliced him, strep test comes back negative, she gives me a prescription for gargle stuff to numb the pain in my throat. I'm so terrified that I'm going to swallow the stuff that I accidentally swallow some the first time I use it.

Day Two:

I wake up looking like the picture above (if you can't tell what's wrong, red face and puffy on the right side). I call my mom, half crying, half choking on my insanely sore throat, I try to explain to her what I look like and beg her to tell me what's going on. She says Em's sick too, so my mom and dad come pick me up and take both Em and I to instacare. It's hilarious now that I thought this first day was bad. Em tests positive for strep, I baffle the doctors and am given a prescription and told to keep gargling, take 4 ibuprofen every 6 hours, and it wouldn't hurt to take benadryl and claritin too.

Day Three:

I am not sleeping well, my face burns all night. I literally sleep with an ice pack on my face all night. I actually went to bed with hopes that I would see improvement, nope, way worse (picture above). Again, call my mom with the voice of a teenage girl trying to bear her testimony at camp, and now she sounds worried. She's at the dermatologist with Em, she gets his advice, and makes an appointment for me later that afternoon with him.

Ben kept me company and let me slaughter him at Boggle. (Side note: Has anyone seen the Conan commercial where he's acting like a nerd and he shakes his finger and says, "I play boggle!" makes me laugh really hard every time ... cause I'm a boggle nerd.) I'm way embarrassed to look half Amy half Sloth from Goonies in front of Ben, but it was so nice to have him with me. When I was laughing that I might not make it through this, he scoffed and said, "Yeah, death by puffy face," and when asked to promise that he would make sure they cover my bad side at the funeral, he promised they would cover the good side.

Dermatologist was so attentive and talked so fast. He told me to stop taking all medicines, wrote me a new prescription, gave me free samples of a $200 face lotion, and told me I had to call him in the morning better or worse. He said if it was worse, I should go get an IV of antibiotics. Friend for life, he gave me hope.

This was my most public appearance all week, and it was so depressing. Pretty sure I scared a little girl in the elevator, pretty sure people thought I was in the building for cosmetic surgery, pretty sure they were all thinking, "Whoa, she needs it."

Day Four:

No pictures, way worse than day three. If only there were pictures.

I drive myself to my parents, dreading every stoplight where someone will have the chance to look over at me. I call the dermatologist's office, leave a message, and wait until I hear from him to see what I should do. While laying on the couch, Jay continues to wander downstairs now and then, and with me right next to him, whispers to my mom, "How she doing?" My family was starting to write me off.

An hour later, I hadn't heard back. I asked my mom to call again so they didn't have to listen to shaky girl's voice again on the phone. We wait. I finally confess to my mom that I feel terrible, and I just want to go get the IV. She's got a lunch date with her mom and sisters and brothers-in-law; I'm ruining everyone's Christmas. I want to go soon so she can still get to her lunch fun. Right before we head out the door, the dermatologist calls back and tells me to go in right now and to call him afterwards. So kind.

Em and my mom and I go back to instacare.

The nurse, "Whoa, how long has your face been like that?" Vitals continue to be great and I continue to show that I don't have a fever. Pretty sure I did though at one point. Cold sweat, chills, then so hot you feel like you're going to puke, that's a fever right?

The IV = yikes. The nurse stabbed my right arm, but bent the plastic tube, "You have tough skin!" great, now I feel like an alligator. New nurse came in and stabbed my left arm, yowser, that did not feel good. I'm talking like crazy through the entire process and not looking trying to distract myself, and I realize I'm going into way too much detail about how Ben and I watched I Shouldn't be Alive, and it was about a boy who got attacked by a bear on a hunting trip ... "And he was alone, and it was dark, and it started to pour, and his thigh was flayed open, and here I am complaining about a puffy face ..." all said in a voice that was way too high and way too fast. The dang nurse agreed that I shouldn't be complaining. Em said I was being hilarious the entire time.

After the solution dripped its way into my system, they left the plastic catheter in, wrapped up my arm, told me to be careful not to pull it out otherwise they'd have to do put it in again, and see you again tomorrow (Christmas Eve) and possibly the next day (Christmas).

I laid on my mom's couch all day terrified that I was going to pull that dang thing out, terrified that I would never get better. I sunk into a deep depression thinking about my ugly face. I felt like a fool after watching multiple episodes of Fatal Attractions, a stupid show that quickly sucked me in about people who keep dangerous animals that end up attacking them.

My sisters did all of my Christmas shopping for me, my dad gave me a blessing that morning, I needed to focus on how great everyone was being.

Day Five:

Pictures below. I'm better! I still look ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as day four! Everyone at the clinic comments that I look better, later at the pharmacy after my prescription gets changed again, the pharmacist tells me I look so much better. I am told I don't need to go in for another dose of IV antibiotics on Christmas. Huzzah!

I feel good enough to attend my Grandma Bateman's Christmas Eve party, where no one comments on my face. Actually, my Uncle Mark asked if I had hay fever, and my mom just confessed that my Grandma thought I had cellulite on my face. Oh Grandma.

Day Seven (today):

Almost all puffiness gone except for some lingering around my eye. I have a burn under my eye that my mom thinks came from a fever. At dinner, Em said, "You're back!"

2010-11-23T19:01:00.000-08:00

A Couple of Great Pictures

Abe and I reading the latest toy ad. He knows exactly what he does and does not want.

Em and I on our eventful hike/walk to Donut Falls. We saw a moose on our way back, well, we heard it first, Em about wet herself, then we saw it.

2010-11-02T10:37:00.000-07:00

Halloween 5k

Me and Tobias

I won an award for hardest costume to run in, Ben won an award for most original costume. Nobody knew who he was, so it was incredibly ironic that he won most original by default.

Tobias won 1st place in his age group, Luchador mask (Jason Faull - Ben's army buddy) won 2nd place in his age group. They both received heavy, engraved medals.

2010-10-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

Donut Falls Hike

Zach and I drove up Big Cottonwood Canyon yesterday morning to find the hike to Donut Falls. We didn't want to go on too long of a hike so we could be back for the morning session. This is a super quick hike that would be perfect for any little family. It might be good for a little trail run too. The leaves were beautiful, but we didn't stick around too long because we were downright freezing. There wasn't a rigorous part of the hike to warm us up.

As we drove out, I told Zach, "Back up, back up, back up!" just like on Jurassic Park.

We saw a moose!

2010-10-03T10:16:00.000-07:00

A Weekend at the Heiner Household

September 23, 24, 25

Ben and Anth finishing up their work on the roof.

After my grueling run where I got chased by dogs, I got back to what I had been busy with all weekend: kittens!

Kittens inspired by kittens!

The three stripey ones in the shadows are so wild, and one was cross-eyed. I threw beef jerky right in front of Lil Googly Eyes, but he couldn't find it. I had so much fun playing with them. It was so different to have cats that actually purr and don't sink their belly to the ground when you try to pet them.

My favorite.

2010-10-03T09:58:00.000-07:00

Denver!

Ben, Ben's brother Anth, and I went to Denver for Ben's second yellow ribbon ceremony. We had so much fun, and I only took two pictures.

Things to remember:

Peruvian restaurant that wasn't really Peruvian. Waiting an hour and a half when there was only a table of four in front of us. Having our waitress admit they were closing down the next day. "The craziest thing just happened ..."
Dinner with Ben's sister Mariann and her family. XXX bowling was a bad idea. Mariann's girls were way too pushy/flattering when we were in Claire's.
Jake flirting with the clerk right in front of Ali. The clerk writing her number on a card for Jake.
Catching a shuttle from the airport to our hotel, "Sorry, it's like an hour wait," but when I walked out I got right on a shuttle.
Feeling like a celebrity when I walked down the aisle to find my seat on the airplane. Feeling like a celebrity when we got to watch tv for free. Feeling incredibly sick on the airplane, looking out the window for my parent's house, breaking out in a cold sweat, convincing myself, "I am not going to throw up in front of all of these people!" panicking and grabbing Ben's barf bag, barely making it without getting sick, Ben was completely unaware of all of this.

I loved this, and I dedicate this picture to Dra.

The gaggle.

Left to right: Ali, Jake, Ben, Anth, Jeff

2010-10-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

Mona Rope Swing

Ben waiting for the rope.

A larger boy went off of this one, but didn't have the strength to hold on once the rope caught. He basically just fell into the water, luckily he was okay, and then we all had a hearty laugh. Later he did the same thing again, but came out with rope burns on his hands.

Checkout Em's blog for an amazing video of our fun at Mona. Below are some ridiculous clips that make me laugh for different reasons. To avoid landing on Ben, I butt-flopped. Can't wait until it's warm again.

2010-10-03T09:41:00.000-07:00

Climbing at the Slips up Big Cottonwood

2010-09-11T07:50:00.000-07:00

After school yesterday, I was writing the agendas up on the whiteboard, and my back was to my classroom door.

I hear a soft, "Hello?" from behind me.

Knowing it was Carrie, a fellow math teacher, I took my time turning around because I thought it was so weird that she called in. When I turned around, there she was with a much older lady. Oops, should have turned around faster.

Carrie: "Amy, this is my mom! I don't think you've ever met her before."

Me: "Nope, oh hi! Nice to meet you! I've heard so much about you."

Carrie's Mom: "Well I came to help out Carrie, but I was up in the office, and I told the secretaries that I was here to see the best math teacher at Eastmont!"

She said all of this in a typical super adorable Grandma voice.

"Everyone in the office said, 'Oh! You're here to see Amy Bateman?!' I told them no ... Carrie. So I just had to come down to meet you."

I don't know if this is coming across, but it was absolutely hilarious, and I all but peed my pants trying not to laugh when she told me. When you see me, ask me to tell you in person, it'll be better.

2010-08-11T07:46:00.000-07:00

Finally Finished the Placemats

The day before I left for Chicago, I realized I hadn't bought a present for Karen's wedding. I was super stressed trying to pack for Chicago and Honolulu, and I was running out of time. My mom encouraged me to finally finish my placemats and give them to Karen. My mom helped me so much, and she laughed really hard when I told her I was being selfish and didn't want to give them away because they turned out so great. Dra and I have already decided to make more.

2010-08-08T09:33:00.000-07:00

Bells Canyon Hike:

The Search for Upper Falls

Zach and Ben

I forget what they were discussing, probably like me, they were wishing to see Bighorn Mountain Sheep fighting each other on the cliffs.

We could hear the falls ... or could we?

Found the Upper Falls!

No we didn't, now we truly found the Upper Falls.

We hiked around a bit amidst what we thought were the Upper Falls. Zach got a lot of pictures; I can't wait to see them. The water was amazing. The trail went on a little bit further past what we originally thought were the Upper Falls. We wondered if the trail led to the reservoir, so we decided to keep going. Good thing we did. These falls were amazing. I think I might be more impressed by the Upper Falls than the Lower Falls.

Is Ben planning what I think he's planning? Of course. He scrambled right up the rocks of this waterfall. Scared me too much, so Zach and I left and climbed to the right of the falls to get a view from the top.

The rock looked so flat and smooth at the top. Perfect for a water slide until you got to the fall part.

I don't remember what I was hoping to capture with this snap, but I laugh every time I look at this.

2010-08-08T09:26:00.001-07:00

Swim Fun at Anth's Apt. Pool

Ben

Teighlor

Ben tossed off his flippy floppys and had fun with my camera. You can catch a glimpse of me right at the beginning of this video. I am contentedly stretched out reading my book.

2010-08-08T09:22:00.000-07:00

Silver Lake Flats Swim

On our last day of the Bateman Family Campout, we packed everything up, headed down the canyon, met up with our friends the Gainers, and headed straight back up the canyon for a swim in the lake.

The boys found a log and swam around the lake.

Jess and I laughed at their antics, the fishermen around us did not.

View of Tibble.

2010-08-08T09:09:00.000-07:00

Mt. Timpanogas Cave

Ben and the Stellars Jay

What? Can't find the bird?

That's because it flew away right when I took the picture.

Stellars Jay right by the original entrance to the cave.

Heart of the Cave

Salt and Pepper Shakers

Some joker broke them off and stole them, they were later found and returned then glued back on, and now we can't touch them.

2010-08-07T10:44:00.000-07:00

Granite Flats Campout

The last week of July was our annual Bateman Family Campout. My dad and I arrived first at our campsite up American Fork Canyon, and he kept me busy helping him set up the most ridiculous tarp above our tent (above the rainfly). My fear of bungee cords came out in full force as I continued to get thwapped by them. If I had been working with anyone but my dad, there would definitely have been tears. It's hard to see the system in the below picture, but let me assure you, neither my dad nor I are tall enough to have just simply stretched to reach the placement around the trees. I had to shimmy up pine trees (this doesn't work well at all, especially in tevas), my dad hired a stick to help guide the bungee where he wanted, and we found a box that he stood on while I braced it. I didn't really know how to brace it, so basically I just stood there with my body against the box, knowing full well that it would break my femur if it gave, repeating, "Please don't break," over and over and over in my head.

Back of Mt. Timp Hike

My Uncle Scott often organizes a hike up the back of Timp, and this was the first year I've ever been able to go. It was so amazing, and I hope we get to do it again next year.

Our first stop at the first meadow.

My cousin Josh (aka Bizarro World Zach) pointing to a deer clambering over the rocks.

The wildflowers were out of control. All of my pictures don't give them any justice.

View from the second meadow. We're going to the very top of that peak. Yowza. Can't say my heart didn't sink just a tad. So much farther to go.

My cousin Jess and our first encounter with a mountain sheep.

Ben at the Saddle.

Everyone pulled out their cellphones and called loved ones.

The tippy toppy!

We pulled out our snacks, Dra gasped, "My Doritos! Ohhh, I must have dropped them." Soon after, our cousin Brandon reached us and shouted, "Did someone drop Doritos?" He saved Dra's day.

Josh perched safely, but it still made my head spin a bit to see the drop.

Next challenge: Heading down to this lake.

Me and my sissy Em at the top, Ben checking out that guy's butt.

Me, Em, and Dra laughed so much the entire way up, and the majority of the way down. It was so much fun to hike with them.

The glacier we slid down.

I was so scared at the top when we were sliding sideways on the muddy rock.

I was so scared to slide down the glacier; it was so steep, and I was convinced a rock would give me another butt crack. Ben went first and laughed the whole way. Em and I sat on our garbage bags and tried to make a train, it didn't work. Dra has a hilarious video. I am scared but laughing, Em is scared and screaming bloody murder. Lots of our group gingerly walked down.

Herd of mountain goats right by the lake.

Can you believe we slid down this bad boy?

Incredibly beautiful.

I hope that Em and Dra post some of their pictures (hint hint wink wink). We had a fabulous time.

2010-08-01T11:44:00.000-07:00

Bateman to Malone

I saw Karl Malone at the airport when I came back from Hawaii. He was standing right in front of me as Em and I sat on the bench waiting for Ben to pick us up. I wasn't paying any attention, but then I heard his trademark drawl. "Sounds just like Karl," I thought to myself, yup, there he was right in front of me. I elbowed Em and told her who it was, but she questioned how I knew. How can you not?

Doesn't he look like Brian Fellows?

Ben pulled up right when Karl came back with more luggage.

Ben: "Excuse me Karl Malone? Can we get a picture?"

Karl: Looking straight ahead, tad grumpy, "I've just been on a 26 hour flight, let me put my luggage down."

So I took off my shoes, didn't fix my Superman curl hanging down in front, and snapped a picture of me after a night on a plane standing next to The Mailman.

He shook my hand, and I said thank you, and managed to not embarrass myself like I did when I met Thurl Bailey at one of his concerts up at USU.

Thurl: While shaking my hand, "So nice to meet you. You look very familiar."

Me: "Well I did play Jr. Jazz."

Idiot.

2010-08-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

Hawaii Pictures!

I was invited to my adorable friends Karen Conklin and Kahili Woods' wedding in Hawaii. Emilie Decker Ralph and I travelled together. Emilie is good friends with Karen, and Karen hired her to be her wedding photographer. We had a blast together.

Pria the flower girl (Kahili's niece), Karen in the background getting ready, Chelsea (Kahili's sister) helping with Karen's hair.

My camera card was full, and I frustratingly tried to delete old pics, but I could not figure out how to get back to super old ones. I knew it had to be so easy, I even had Emilie the wedding photographer look at my camera, but she couldn't figure it out either. Em took amazing pictures of the wedding, so maybe in a couple of weeks I will re-post about Hawaii with better quality pictures.

Old International Market.

Deep sigh as it took me back to Taiwan and Thailand.

One of the five pools at the Hilton.

Karen and Kahili honeymooned at the Hilton which was conveniently located right across from our hotel: Aqua Palms and Spa. Our pool was a pathetic L-shaped eyesore. Em laughed when I disappointingly pointed out that with a name like Aqua Palms, the place should have a better pool. Karen invited us over to swim in their lagoon and pools. Yes please! The pools even had little kiddy slides connecting them. I waited my turn in between two five year olds, then slid down one of the slides. It was fantastic.

Karen and Kahili getting their picture taken right by the lagoon we swam in.

I loved that it was shark and jellyfish free.

I ran my own little 5k along the beach behind the Hilton. Usually when I run here in Utah, my throat gets pretty dry, but such was not the case in good ol' Hawaii. I was terribly sweaty due to the humidity though. Well, more sweaty than usual. There were a lot of people out and about in the morning, I was pleasantly surprised. There were even quite a few people swimming in the ocean which reinforced my jealousy of people who can swim.

Helicopter Tour!

By far my favorite thing we did.

In the picture: Our pilot in the blue jeans, Em in the helicopter, weird flirty copilot.

This is the beach I ran!

Bruce Willis (aka bizzaro world Brent Bateman) and Keanu Reeves have houses somewhere on this hill.

Hawaii's take on Sea World.

We could see lots of hiking trails. They were beyond steep, I swear, they were practically straight up the mountainside. I don't know if you'll be able to make out the white blur, but we saw a guy on top of one of the peaks. I waved furiously, and he waved back, and I tried to get a picture.

This could be Stairway to Heaven.

I had to reach over Emilie to get this picture. Here's where parts of Lost and Jurassic Park were filmed.

Sacred Falls

Can you spot the waterfall? Our pilot said that they had to close it down to all hikers because too many people were getting hurt.

Pearl Harbor - USS Utah

Our pilot took us on the same route the Japanese took.

Pearl Harbor - USS Arizona

2010-08-01T10:48:00.000-07:00

24th of July Bell Canyon Hike

2010-08-01T10:21:00.000-07:00

Chicago Shenanigans:

A guy named Mario mistakenly took my luggage thinking it was his. I would like to thank you Mario for not noticing the incredibly big bright green name tag and for not noticing you had taken my luggage for a good 20 hours. I like to hope that you got curious and unzipped one of the pockets and got a face full of tampons. Hope that made you uncomfortable because I had to make an announcement to a bunch of army guys that I had to make an emergency run to the nearest grocery store because of that much-needed pocket. As much as I want to be mad at you Mario, I am so incredibly grateful that you were honest and brought my luggage back to the airport. I did have to sleep in my clothes and attend a day full of meetings in the same clothes, but at least I got my stuff back. When I was at my lowest, assuming I would never see my luggage again, I made a comprehensive list of my luggage's contents and its estimated cost. Mario, you could have had over $1600 worth of my stuff. I would have been heartbroken over my earrings from Peru. I would have cancelled my trip to Hawaii.
One of the sessions we had to attend was titled: R U Angry? In the middle of our tables, we found pamphlets, and we were encouraged to go through the list and check off things that make us angry. Bad Drivers? Check. Misbehaving Children? Check. Loud Noises? Check. As I was thoughtfully making my way down the list, one of Ben's buddies whispered my name in awe. I looked up at him, he looked at me wide-eyed, then pointed to his list. I slowly looked at my list, then looked at his list. Then I glanced at everyone else's list at our round table. I had about 15 items checked. Everyone else had an average of 4 checked. He laughed, then everyone else laughed. Ben had a lot checked too. R U Angry? Apparently, yes I am.
I had to get special permission to leave the session early Sunday morning so I could catch my flight to Hawaii later Sunday afternoon. Ben and Lt. Smith drove me to the airport, they dropped me off, and I checked in and made my way to my gate smoothly. I stopped to buy myself a parfait, went to pay, and mumbled a small swear word. Ben had my driver's license and credit card in his wallet. The night before we were going into the city, and I didn't want to take a purse, so Ben offered to take my ID and credit card in his wallet. I brilliantly forgot to get it out of his wallet. I called Ben, but they were already back at the hotel. I talked my way through my predicament, but calmed myself into realizing that I should be fine because I had my passport for ID, and a backup credit card that I wasn't jazzed to use, but would work fine. Idiot.
We flew into SLC earlier than planned, so my dad agreed to pick me up at the airport so I could hang out at my parents' for a few hours. Unfortunately, on the drive home, I brought up a picture text message I received from Andrea documenting a hike I missed. I was completely in the dark as to who was in the picture. I can't give any more details, it's little Em's story. It was not funny in the moment feeling like I was the one getting in trouble as my dad furiously described his take on the whole thing, but now it's really fun to laugh about when my parents aren't around.

2010-07-23T16:01:00.000-07:00

My one picture of Chicago, and technically, this is in Schaumberg.

Ben's home safe from Afghanistan.

He invited me to his Yellow Ribbon Ceremony in Chicago, and I have lots of funny and not-so-funny stories.

Please stay tuned.

2010-07-23T12:57:00.000-07:00

Tell me you don't love this.

2010-07-06T13:22:00.000-07:00

Everything Must Go!

So I need to grow up and get a big girl bed.

I am trying to give everything away, but if no one needs/wants a free handout, I should probably try to make a buck or two on ksl.

Let me know!

This mirror doesn't fit in my room, and you need to know that it's a bit clunky and heavy. It could use a little restoration.

Pillows not included.

I love this dresser. I don't love that it's white, but it would be super easy to paint.

Bed/Frame/Mattress/Box Springs it's all yours ...

2010-06-24T17:03:00.000-07:00

Sensational Summer

On my first two days off, I had to attend a mentor workshop where I met Susie Miner's Junior Prom Date. He was a much-needed comic relief the entire time. My mom also attended because she's going to be the mentor of JHS. She introduced herself with tears in her eyes as, "The mother of the best teacher in the district." It would have been the perfect time to not take a swig out of my water bottle; I about choked. Later as we got further around the group with our introductions, "I am Mrs. Weber, and I taught the best teacher in the district! So great to see you again Amy!" So flattered, so red in the face.
I moved, and I am so unbelievably content. My eyes were finally opened to the degree of shadiness that surrounded the people I lived with. I went back to my old house to return a book I borrowed, and I was met with, "You probably still wish you lived here." No part of me misses it. Come visit me at my new place!
We had a family bbq for an early Father's Day and early Toby's birthday celebration. My parents didn't want to miss it. I invited my new roommate Natalie over, and I hope she was being honest when she said she had a good time. We can be a crazy bunch, especially with Grandma Bateman in the mix. Toby received some amazing birthday presents that all of the nephews enjoyed playing with. They loved the ball-filled tent that Grandma and Grandpa bought. I think Jay made Natalie nervous when he tried to lure her into his apartment insisting that she see his 'surprise'. I jumped in and assured her that he probably wanted to show off his massive DVD collection. Jay created the ultimate Father's Day card that had me and my brothers rolling. My dad pouted, "What is so funny?", and James replied that he would probably get mad at us. My dad re-read the pink stapled card, his face in pure concentration trying to make the message funny, then he closed his eyes and laughed. Perfect, we weren't in trouble.
Cherry Hill Galore. At the moment my favorite visit this summer has been when Em and I dorked around the whole time. That kid can really make me laugh. I love making my brain replay her trying to squeeze in the tube with Eric. I also loved playing the dunking game with her. Her pitiful gasp, then, "Are you kidding me?!" when I told her, "I'm thinking of a State ..." was priceless.
We went up to Kaysville for Toby's real birthday celebration. We had a picnic at the park right by James' house. It was windy, so James ran home and grabbed two kites. It was so fun running around encouraging the boys to run so the kite stayed in the air. James put together the really big kite, but it ended up getting away from him. He was running after the kite, Abe was running after James crying because James had left, and the kite took a nasty spill covering two trees. James monkeyed up one of the trees in his flip flops, but after a great effort, Eric ended up cutting the line. Toby and Abe swung together in the baby swing on the playground. Toby loved it, Abe hated it. Toby kept leaning his head back to see who was behind him.
My parents are in Europe, Em's home alone tending to house business. The flowers are dying. She called me one morning, "I need your muscles!" because she couldn't get the lawn mower started. It had nothing to do with brute strength and everything to do with finally calling Zach for advice and learning that we needed to prime the dang thing. Emily laughed and confessed and shook her finger at the mower, "That's what I was forgetting!"
After successfully starting the lawn mower, I decided to heat up my beans (Thank you Sara!) for lunch. The microwave and lawn mower were both humming, and I heard a fantastic POP! from outside, then no sound from the lawn mower. I knew Em was behind it, but I would never have predicted what I found. There was Em, with both hands over her mouth, typical hunched over posture, staring at ... "You ran over one of dad's solar lights?!" Unbelievable. It had shattered, so I grabbed the broom and started sweeping and told Em it was her turn to call Zach this time. It was all quite hilarious. Dad should be relaxed enough from his vacation that he'll be able to laugh too.
Dra and I went up and let Em and Zach feed us and teach us a complicated yet fun game. Toby's starting to take a few steps, and my mom is going to be mad she missed the beginnings. Here's hoping that tomorrow Em, Zach, Toby, and I can get in another Cherry Hill adventure.
Em and I met up with the Gainers for an American Fork Canyon adventure. Em and Chris swam in Silver Lake, we girls hiked then rock-climbed, then when it was getting pretty dark, we hiked back down where Chris had been cooking elk for us. We also had smores and bananas. (It was worth losing points Jackie.) I've decided that I'm a miserable climber. I'm terribly scared the entire time, I'm painfully slow, and I'm not that flexible. I tell myself that I'll get better as I go more often, but will I?
I've been making dinner almost every night, well, I always have an insane amount of leftovers, so once the leftovers are gone, I make dinner again. I think that this is the real proof of how much I love my new place. I've invited friends and family over now and then, and I love cooking for them. Let me cook for you, seriously! I've made chicken fajitas, spaghetti with Dra's help, sloppy joes with texas caviar ... Okay, that might be it so far, and it doesn't seem like much, but it has been really fun.
This morning I went on a long horseback ride with my delightful friend Deanne and her niece Cicilee. I should have rolled my sleeves back down before the picture of me and Jack in the meadow was snapped, but here's hoping that we really do make this a weekly event so I can get more pictures.

2010-06-03T20:53:00.000-07:00

The Black Keys!

While crossing the street from my house to the trax station, I was flagged down by a transient. "Do you have any spare change?" Sorry buddy, nothing on me. I literally had my phone and my ID, and that was it. "Oh okay, wait, wait! Did you know Jesus loves you? ... Cause you look like an angel!" I lamely responded, "You too," then couldn't stop myself from laughing at my ridiculous response as I stomped away past his continuous mumbles of my angelic attributes. Do angels like The Black Keys?
On trax, two young possibly 6th graders, sat next to me. One was even reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. At the next stop, a group of toothless idiots boarded. It was F this and F that, and I was extremely uncomfortable. I tried to hold my tongue, but finally, I nicely blurted, "Excuse me, would you mind watching your language? There are children right here." A couple of men that were not part of the group gave me an appreciative nod, but the ugliest girl in the group mumbled, "Ohhhhkay, um, freedom of speech?" I lost it, I no longer felt like being nice. Freedom of speech? You are a complete baboon. Children people, children! Then the poor boy muttered, "It's okay," and I told him it wasn't okay, and he deserved better. I was all in a huff, but thankfully the disgusting hooligans got off at the next stop. When they got off, a man tapped me on the shoulder and thanked me for saying something, but I wish he would have backed me up in the moment.
At the concert, before the opening band started, these two guys in front of me kept eying me then sipping their beers. I was nervous because my pants were tight, possibly too tight, and what if my zipper was down? Phew, not the case. They asked if I wanted to stand in front of them so I could see better! Eventually, I was in the front, leaning on the bar, getting asked by photographers if I liked the picture they took, heart forced to beat to the pounding rhythm, hypnotized by how The Black Keys was markered on the drum, loving the music so much I felt like wiping tears off my cheeks, realizing that I haven't liked a concert this much in a very very long time ... Every song is my new favorite Black Keys song. You should have been there.

2010-06-02T15:53:00.000-07:00

Lake Powell - Memorial Day Blowout

View from the houseboat every morning.

I could seriously live on this. It was three stories of pure heaven: super cushy carpet, marble countertops, windy stairs, big screen tv for movies at night ... I was spoiled rotten.

Me and the boat got along just great. I wakeboarded, tubed, and learned how to wakesurf (my new favorite). I cheered for myself when I got up on my first try. I was a little bit of a maniac on the tube; at one point after I had jumped on to the other kid's tube, I was riding not-so-safely on my back. I got bounced right off. For my bravery, longevity, and willing to take risk, I was crowned Queen of Tubing.

There were two slides, and this was the slide coming off of the sun deck at the very top of the house boat; it was so deliciously fun. Too bad I can't control my kicky legs, but at least it made everyone else laugh.

Took a jet ski trip to the dam.

I was super excited to hike this sand dune. (Being serious.)

We had to swim, and everyone was a little complainy, so I obnoxiously ran into the water. "Amy! Your camera!" Suckers! It's waterproof.

Not so easy hike. Poor Slim had to take a break.

Lobster legs are the result of a recipe laced with too many bounces on the tube and not enough sunscreen.

Running down.

Poor Slim almost made it to the end, almost. He fell and rolled pretty dang hard. Too bad I wasn't filming.

2010-05-18T18:29:00.000-07:00

Aggie 5k in Kaysville

Eli enjoying the complimentary Aggie ice cream.

Abe was too nervous around Big Blue, so just Ezra and Eli posed.
Eli had a run-in with Big Blue's nose ring. While Eli rubbed his cheek, he whispered, "Big Blue hit me!"

Me and my boys. If only Toby were here.

2010-05-18T13:29:00.000-07:00

My Conversation with Ezra about his tadpole:

Me: “What’s his name?”
Ezra: “Um ... Little Tail.”
Me: “Will you have to change his name when he becomes a frog?”
Ezra: “Uh, yeah. It will be .... It will be ... Little Zero Tail.”
He also told me that I couldn’t play with the tadpole because he sleeps during the day and plays at night because he’s nocturnal. He really said nocturnal. Who is this kid?

2010-05-09T20:39:00.000-07:00

Meet Baggy:

He's my new favorite running partner (no offense sissies). We have an adventure every time, and I am always super sore the next day.

Recent Memories:

gagging so hard I cried the first time I had to clean up after you
getting yelled at in the cemetery (my fault)
my fastest 5k ever was the first time I ran with you
trying to convince a bus-stop patron that you are not my baby and I am not your mommy "It doesn't matter what mommy says, you are her favorite little baby!"
getting chased by the turkey
dropping your chewy baseball right in the trax line
making cats walk on their tippy toes
compliments galore, "Your dog is beautiful!"
you getting your feelings hurt when other dogs don't want to be your best friend

Meet Bumblee Pinata:

My favorite part of our Siete de Mayo party was when Jed tripped on the stairs and dropped all of the candy. I also loved that Tyler filled the pinata with twinkies and oatmeal creme pie cookies and ridiculous coupons and horrible candy.

2010-05-06T21:05:00.000-07:00

Cinco De Mayo!

This dang pinata made me laugh so hard. It all started when the poor thing's sombrero went flying. I shiver laughed the rest of the night.

2010-05-05T21:22:00.000-07:00

I think I reference The Simpsons every single day

"and I like it".

My brothers will understand.

2010-04-26T13:59:00.000-07:00

Look at me go!

Really, who hasn't run a 1/2 marathon these days?
Kidding.
I am so proud of myself. I only cried twice, once when I tried to leave Dra, but I ended up running back to her, "I would rather run with you!" and a lady close by laughed with sympathy, "We would rather run with you too!"
I cried again later when I really did leave Dra.

I guess I cried again a week later when Dra sent me a text:
"At this moment last Saturday, I was crossing the finish line into your arms. Happy anniversary to us!"

Oh dear, I'm crying right now just remembering it.

Thank you Dra, you are the spur in my cowboy boots.

2010-04-07T19:41:00.000-07:00

My Dad and I had a really fun time at Mandalay Bay picking out toys for our boys.

Ezra: Hammerhead Shark

Eli: Puppet Stingray

Abe: Whale Shark

Toby: TBA since we haven't delivered the surprise yet.

Ezra had just thrown his hammerhead shark to my dad and was about to launch his "grass snake". They love the game of toss something off Jay's deck. Ezra loved it when I'd lob his shark up to him with instructions such as, "Here he comes to taste your toes!" Ezra always said hammerhead was on his way down to bite me.

Dad braving the cat poo-riddled lawn. I curse you cats. Eli refused to walk on the grass, and I had to carry him to and fro. I loved it though.

Abe loves his whale shark, and I love Abe.

Eli adores stingrays, and he kept wrapping this one around himself and announcing that his stingray was a great hugger.

When choosing animals, I confidently told my dad to get Ezra a hammerhead shark because Ezra knows what they are. When he received his present, my mom shouted, "Do you know what it is?"

"Yes, I do! It's a hammerhead shark! But what do they do?"

I told him they hammer heads, so he insisted on trying his hammerhead shark out on each of us and himself as the picture shows.

2010-04-04T19:29:00.000-07:00

Wow. Wow. Wow.

If anyone wants to go when it comes to Salt Lake, I would love to go again.

The entire time, I felt like Nelson on The Simpsons when he's watching Andy Williams perform Moon River during their Spring Break joy ride.